First Become, Then Achieve: A Conversation Before January 1st.
Why 2026 Can Be Different (If You're Willing to Become Different)
It’s 6 days to the end of the year. Or perhaps it’s already the new year by the time you’re reading this. Either way, I’m not here for the repeated cycle of motivational BS that comes with year endings. I’m not here to talk you out of your new year resolutions. If you want to write a list of dreams on a piece of paper only to abandon them by January 15th go ahead.
That’s a tradition, and I’m not here to break it.
I’m also not here to hype you up or tear you down either.
I’m here to ask you a few uncomfortable questions, if you’ll permit me.I’m here to help you find honest answers to those uncomfortable questions. And if -and- only if you let me, I’m here to quietly hypnotize you into a version of greatness you haven’t yet met.
I know your energy is high right now. In fact, dopamine levels shot up like you just discovered your ex is dating someone uglier than you. You told yourself you’ll be more audacious this time. Take more risks. Chase those goals properly. Lose weight. Drop the bad habits. Start the business. Write the book. Find your passion. Become a better person.
Your intentions are noble. In fact, too noble. I know you really want to do things differently.
But you’re doing it wrong.
How do I know? Because I did it myself. For years, I played this game. New year, new me. New journal, new workout plan, new business idea scribbled on the back of a napkin at 2 AM. I was a professional at starting over.
You danced to this same rhythm last year. I mean, we both did. And the year before that. You had the same fire in your belly on December 31st. The same conviction. The same “this time will be different” energy.
How did that end?
Not much changed, right? You’re most likely standing in the exact same spot, just 365 days older. Maybe a little more tired. Maybe a little more cynical about your own promises.
If you’re still reading, it’s because you have that burning desire to actually change the narrative. You’re tired of repeating the same cycle with new words. But here’s what I need you to understand: wanting is not enough.
Even madmen on the street have desires. The difference between the madman and the mogul isn’t the size of the desire it’s the structure of the person holding it.
Listen, if every human desire came true, the world would be a wreckage of chaos. For someone like me who wants to marry Temi Otedola, if that desire magically came true, Mr Eazi would be furious. He’d want her back. Temi would be stuck moving endlessly between the two of us . Nobody wins. You see the problem?
It’s only proper that all our desires don’t come true.
Desires are cheap. Everyone has them. The homeless man desires a mansion. The lazy man desires a six pack. The coward desires courage. Desire costs nothing, which is exactly what it’s worth on the open market of reality.
So how do we actually get what we want?
Simple. We don’t get what we want by wanting harder. We get what we want by becoming the kind of person who deserves those things.
It’s not enough to have goals you have to become the type of person worthy of achieving that goal. A man who can’t manage ₦100,000 has no business dreaming of ₦10 million. Not because the money won’t come, but because he’ll destroy himself when it does.
It’s always less about the goal and more about the person carrying it.
So I need you to perform a brutal audit of your soul and. Ask yourself these three questions and answer them honestly:
1. Are you currently worthy of the goals you’ve set?
2. Would both your future self and your past self be proud of the person standing here right now?
3. Can the person you are today actually sustain the weight of the success you’re asking for tomorrow?
If your answer is yes to all three, I’m probably wasting your time you can close this newsletter. You probably don’t need to read the rest. You’ve already figured it out.
But if your answer is no to any of these questions—even one—then you need to stick around a little bit longer.
Because what I’m about to show you isn’t about trying harder.
It’s about becoming different.
Becoming different requires understanding something most people miss entirely.
When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, people obsess over only one of the two requirements for lasting change:
1. Changing your actions to make progress toward the goal (least important, second-order)
2. Changing who you are so that your behavior naturally follows (most important, first-order)
You and I have been stuck on number one for far too long. We wake up January 1st and declare war on our habits. “I will go to the gym five times a week.”, “I will write 1,000 words every day.”, “I will cold call 50 prospects daily.” We attack the symptoms, not the disease.
But here’s what actually happens: You force yourself to the gym for two weeks. Willpower depleting every single day. By week three, you miss Monday. Then Wednesday. Then you convince yourself you’ll “start fresh next week.” And just like that, you’re back where you started—except now you’re carrying the weight of another failed resolution.
Why? Because you tried to change your actions without changing your identity.
You tried to act like a fit person without becoming a fit person. You tried to write like a writer without becoming a writer. You tried to sell like a closer without becoming a closer.
It’s the same delusion we’re fed about success. “Hustle harder.” “Grind until you make it.” But success doesn’t come because you chase it. Success comes because you’re the kind of person who attracts it. The desperate man repels money. The needy man repels relationships. The insecure man repels respect.
Again—I need you to tattoo this on your brain: it’s more about the person and less about the desire.
So fundamentally, for you to achieve your goals, you can’t just change what you do. You have to go back to the root of your being. You have to rewire your mind. You have to become someone else entirely.
Not a better version of who you are. Someone different entirely.
And that transformation demands three things of you
1. Turn your goals into passions you're willing to suffer for :
Let me explain something most people don’t understand about goals and passion. Your goal is a destination. It’s short-term. It’s “I want to lose 20kg by June.” It’s “I want to make my first ₦1 million by December.” It has an endpoint. You either hit it or you don’t.
But passion? Passion is the lifestyle that makes that goal inevitable. Passion is long-term. It’s not about reaching a destination, it’s about becoming the kind of person for whom that destination is just a milestone along the way. A goal expires. A passion compounds.
So if you want your goals to actually stick this time, you need to convert them into passions. And to do that, you must first understand what passion actually is.
I know we’ve been told a thousand times that “passion is doing what you love and loving what you do.” That’s a half-truth at best. We’ve completely deprecated the meaning of passion.
You see, passion comes from the Latin word passio, which means “to suffer” not “to love.”
So passion is not waking up excited every morning to do what makes you happy. Passion is finding something you’re willing to suffer for. Something you’re willing to lose sleep over. Something you’re willing to sweat for. Something you’ll keep doing even when it stops being fun.
You see, anything worth being passionate about is hard. In fact, extremely hard. Which means achieving your goal will be hard. And you will want to give up probably within the first two weeks when the dopamine wears off and you’re left with just the sweat and the grind.
But you have to understand something: Everything worth doing is hard. The more worth doing it is, the harder it is. The greater the hardship, the greater the payoff.
This is where most people fail. They hit resistance and interpret it as a sign they’re on the wrong path. But resistance is not a bug it’s a feature. The hard part is the filter. It’s what separates those who really want it from those who just liked the idea of wanting it.
So you have to train your mind on how you respond to hard.
Here’s a mental model that should adopt: Get happier the harder it gets, because you know fewer people are willing to do it.
Switch your perspective from “Oh, this is hard” to “No one else is willing to do this.” From “Oh, poor me” to “Oh, poor everyone else who’s going to try and quit.”
So much of what we endure is determined by how we train our minds to perceive it. Train your mind for hard. Re-frame suffering as selection. The harder it gets, the fewer competitors remain.
Essentially, it’s only through suffering for something that we find something we love.
Your goal is a projection into the nearest future, a snapshot of who you want to become or something you want to achieve. But passion? Passion is the embodiment of that goal. It’s not a finish line. It’s a way of life.
So don’t just set a goal. Convert that goal into a lifestyle. Turn “I want to write a book” into “I am a writer.” Turn “I want to lose weight” into “I am someone who moves my body daily.” Turn “I want to start a business” into “I am an entrepreneur.”
Because when your goal becomes your identity, quitting stops being an option.
2. Run From Your Anti-vision With Everything You Have:
The only way to find the things you’re willing to suffer for is to first find all the things you aren’t willing to suffer for.
Let me explain.
Most people approach life additively. They ask, “What do I want to add to my life? What goals should I chase? What dreams should I pursue?” But life doesn’t work that way. Life is subtractive, not additive.
You don’t become great by adding more to your plate. You become great by cutting away everything that isn’t you. Michelangelo didn’t create his famous David sculpt by adding clay, he removed everything that wasn’t David. That’s how transformation works.
To achieve your vision, you have to run from your Anti-vision. And you have to run fast.
Your Anti-vision is the collection of everything you never want to become, no matter how bad life gets. It’s the version of yourself that haunts you at 3 AM. It’s the future you’d rather die than live.
And what most people miss is that: Your Anti-vision is more powerful than your vision.
Why? Because fear is a stronger motivator than desire. You can dream about being rich, but that won’t get you out of bed at 5 AM. But the fear of being the broke uncle begging for money at family gatherings? That’ll move you.
Let me show you a glimpse of my Anti-vision:
I don’t want to be the guy wanking in his room at 2 AM because he’s lonely, depressed, and can’t get a girlfriend.
I don’t want to be the man on the street whose belly is so big it looks like a balloon filled with helium, wheezing after climbing one flight of stairs.
I don’t want to be the broke uncle always in need of money, the one everyone avoids at family events because they know what’s coming.
I don’t want to be stuck in a 9-5, hating my job, complaining every Monday, but too scared to do anything about it.
These images terrify me. And that terror is useful.
So here’s your assignment and I need you to actually do this, not just nod and move on:
Write down 10 items for your Anti-vision. These should be the 10 things you’re most terrified of becoming. The versions of yourself that make your skin crawl. Be specific. Be visceral. Make it uncomfortable.
Don’t write “I don’t want to be unhealthy.” Write “I don’t want to be the 45-year-old man who can’t play with his kids because he’s too out of breath.”
Don’t write “I don’t want to be poor.” Write “I don’t want to be the person who has to check their bank account before buying groceries.”
Once you’ve written them, paste that list somewhere you’ll see it every single day. Your bathroom mirror. Your phone wallpaper. Your laptop screen. Somewhere unavoidable.
And then do everything in your power to run from that Anti-vision.
Because the moment you clearly define what you refuse to become, every decision gets easier. Every sacrifice makes sense. Every hard day becomes bearable.
You’re not running toward some vague dream anymore. You’re running away from a nightmare. And that makes all the difference.
3. Become Relentlessly Curious And Read Obsessively:
I believe the very act of not reading is pride. A dangerous form of pride.
Think about it. When you refuse to read, you’re essentially saying, “I can figure this out on my own. I don’t need anyone else’s lessons. My limited experience is sufficient.” That’s arrogance masquerading as independence.
the truth is: Every goal you’ve ever wanted to achieve has already been achieved by someone before you. Trust me. Any goal your mind is thinking of right now—making money, building a business, getting fit, finding love, writing a book—has been done by someone before. And they wrote it down in books.
You see, there’s nothing new under the sun.
As the saying goes: “Everything that needs to be said and done has already been said and done. But since no one was listening and watching, everything must be said and done again.”
The game is not about discovering something new. It’s about learning what’s already been discovered and applying it to your specific life.
Now, everyone talks about finding mentors. “I need a mentor to guide me. I need someone to show me the way.”
But here’s what most people mean when they say they want a mentor: “I want to achieve this goal, and I need you to tell me exactly how to do it, but faster, and also give me all the resources, and hold my hand the entire way.”
Listen, until you reach a certain point in life, no one is really that interested in your well-being. Successful people are busy. They don’t have time to babysit strangers with dreams.
But the beautiful thing is: You don’t need to wait for a mentor. The best mentors are already dead, and they’ve left you everything you need.
If you have a mentor you admire, check out your mentor’s mentor. See if they’ve written a book. They probably have. Read it.
By reading, you get to explore the mind of your mentor’s mentor. You get a free interview session that would’ve cost thousands of dollars or been impossible to get. Most of the problems you’ll face on the journey to achieving your goal have already been faced by them, and they wrote it down.
And here’s the great thing: Dead/remote mentors can’t refuse you as an apprentice.
You can’t get rejected. You can’t be told you’re not ready. You can’t be turned away. They left their lessons and plans in their work. They’re waiting for you in libraries, on bookshelves, in PDFs online. All you have to do is show up and read.
So read. Read widely. Question everything. And you’ll eventually find what problems your heart and soul want to spend a lifetime solving.
Side Note: School is one thing. Education is another. The two don’t always overlap.
Whether you’re in school or not, it’s always your job to get yourself an education. You have to be curious about the world in which you live. Look things up. Chase down every reference. Go deeper than anybody else—that’s how you’ll get ahead.
Google everything. I mean everything.
Google your dreams. Google your problems. Google that random thought you had at 2 AM. Don’t ask anyone a question before you Google it. You’ll either find the answer, or you’ll come up with a better, more specific question.
This is the age of infinite information. Ignorance is now a choice, not a circumstance.
4. F*ck Fear, F*ck Failure, And Move With Crazy Audacity:
You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.
Everyone waiting until they’re “ready” will be waiting forever. There is no ready. There’s only now, and there’s only doing.
If that crazy idea came to you , that business concept, that book plot, that vision for your life, then you have to believe you’re the one. The idea could have come to anybody else. It could have landed in the mind of someone smarter, richer, more connected. But it didn’t. It came to you.
That’s not an accident, it’s the universe tell-tale sign.
see, it’s not just enough to dream big, you also have to believe you can achieve those dreams.
And I know that’s where it gets hard. Because I know you’re scared of failing. I know you’re scared of what people will say. I’m scared too. Every single person who’s ever done anything meaningful has been scared.
But the fear of failure cannot—and will not—stop you from becoming who you’re meant to be.
People will say you’re too young to write. Write anyway.
People will say you’re too short to lead a team. Lead anyway.
People will say you’re too fat to model. Model that shit anyway.
People will say you’re too inexperienced to start a business. Start anyway.
People will say you’re too unqualified to speak on that topic. Speak anyway
People will say you’re too much, too loud, too ambitious, too intense, remind them that you’re also too stubborn. Too stubborn to quit. Too stubborn to give up. Too stubborn to listen to people who aren’t where you’re trying to go.
See, people will always talk. They’ll always have something to say. God gave them mouths specifically for that purpose. But here’s what you need to understand: As our friend Marcus Aurelius will say , The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.
You’re not here to make everyone comfortable. You’re not here to fit into their boxes. You’re here to do something that matters, even if it terrifies you.
So have crazy audacity.
Do the thing that scares you. The thing that makes your heart beat faster and your palms sweat. The thing that keeps you up at night, not because it’s stressful, but because it’s calling to you.
Do it messy. Do it imperfectly. Do it while you’re terrified.
Because at the end of the day, we only have two lives. And the second one begins the day you realize you only have one.
It’s not enough to read this. Reading without action is just entertainment. It’s mental masturbation. You nod along, feel inspired for 20 minutes, then go back to scrolling through the same life you’ve been living.
Don’t do that.
It’s only enough when you apply what you’ve read.
So here’s what I need from you as we step into this new year or as you’re already in it, reading this with leftover resolutions scattered on your desk:
I need you to stop playing small. Stop pretending that your dreams are negotiable. Stop acting like you have unlimited time to figure this out.
You don’t.
The clock is ticking. Not in a depressing way, but in a “the universe is waiting for you to make a move” kind of way.
So…
I hope you find what you’re looking for. But more than that, I hope you become the kind of person who doesn’t need to search anymore—because you’ve built it within yourself.
I hope you achieve your goals. But I hope even more that you become the type of person for whom those goals are inevitable.
I hope you dream big. So big it embarrasses you to say it out loud. So big that when you whisper it to yourself at 3 AM, it simultaneously excites and terrifies you.
I hope you have enough audacity to fight for what you want. To start before you’re ready. To keep going when everyone else quits. To believe in yourself when no one else does.
I hope you eventually get what you want out of life. But I also hope you discover that who you become along the way was always more valuable than what you get.
this year or whatever day you’re reading this can be different. Not because the calendar flipped. Not because you wrote down some goals. But because you decided to become someone different.
Someone who suffers for their passions.
Someone who runs from their Anti-vision with everything they have.
Someone who reads obsessively and stays relentlessly curious.
Someone who moves with crazy audacity despite the fear.
That person is already inside you. They’ve been waiting. They’ve been knocking. They’ve been screaming at you to let them out.
This is your permission slip. This is your sign. This is your moment.
Grow. Become. Learn. Embody. Change.
Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not when you feel ready.
Now.
—Àbímbọ́lá
Hi Reader, I’m not a motivational speaker, not even close. I’m just obsessed with living an unconventional life and inspiring people to aim higher.
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